It has been many years since my struggle to earn a living as an actress. Despite my talent, I labored under the perception of that the purity of my art, for which I was seriously trained and commercialism (earning a real living were not compatible.) I am no longer acting, at least not on the stage. But, I still struggle with my concept of art, commercialism, and selling out. At the moment, I am working on a novel. It is a new area of writing for me and I avoided it with a passion. I didn’t know the best way to approach the project –blah, blah, blah. So, with some encouragement I began to write.
Where is this line of thinking taking me? I haven’t a clue, but I know that I get frustrated when I have to write something that is not of social or artistic value. That leaves most of what one earns a living writing about out of the picture. Thus, I find myself being true to some notion of art and lacking a secure income. My artistic vision doesn’t put food on the table nor pay my son’s college tuition bill. Sometimes, I think I am stuck in another century. I really should try to get a sponsor so that I can just go about my merry way exploring this or that artistic medium for the pleasure of the creative experience.
In the meantime, I will continue to struggle to write my first novel, I will fight to control my expectations of a life creatively lived, and look for writing work that can pay the bills. Anyone need a speech? Perhaps, a ghost writer? How about a letter? I was actually Ed Koch’s correspondence writer OH soooo many years ago…
Linda,
DeVita led me to the blogs today and, lo and behold, someone has posted something new! She wants me to tell you she understands feeling like a person “stuck in another century,” as she, too, is an anachronism. A person out of time and place.
I think DeVita would be so happy, joyous and carefree if she only had a “patroness” (to use the medieval equivalent of sponsor) who would fund her various creative endeavors. For now, she is stuck with Ana who will (ultimately) deliver on her promise to re-establish AMF publishing and thereby indulge her every capricious notion.
Continued success on your novel!