Work fills my spirit

I shouldn’t apologize for being who I am, but I do see, at least at times, how different I am from the “normal” world.  Today, I went to an employment agency. It was really by accident that I happened to get there but I decided to follow through. I had to watch a video and then take a test on the video. I apparently did very well 🙂  Nothing to complicated. I then met with a counselor. I was told I needed to dumb down my resume as most of my work experience didn’t fit well into the receptionist, admin. asst. category.  If I weren’t so frustrated with myself, it might be funny. 

I have never wanted to work in an office in the traditional sense and so my experience in offices has been as a consultant or as a freelancer. I have taught, been on boards of organizations, worked as a workshop facilitator, speech writer to mention a few. I guess that doesn’t qualify me to work as an admin. asst.  Yet, as the conversation continued, I mentioned a job I thought I was originally applying for. It turns out that the job was for 3 lawyers. Oh boy. My husband, a trial lawyer, has wanted me to work with him while my job hunt continues.  So, that was ironic.

When I added that I thought I would fit fine into a communications dept. or a marketing dept. for a hosp., for example, she said, “yes, that would be a good fit only we just do clerical staff…” OK. Wrong employment agency.

Then I think, I should really work with my husband (that presents a whole other set of issues) part time and do my writing a few days a week. I just got two assignments today. One I am excited about as it has to do with domestic violence. No, I am not excited about domestic violence but about researching and interviewing people associated with addressing the issue. (Just to be clear…) And my friend, who wants me to help her write a book about children, addiction, and mental illness wants to get started on the project next week.  

Maybe the universe is giving me a message. Maybe I should stop trying to orchestrate  the whole thing and go with the flow. Wow– that sounds like an article I write several years ago. Hmm.  

I do wish, that I could support myself writing what I want to write about.

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Healing with laughter

It has been an emotionally rough several weeks. Nothing specific except my endless need to beat myself up.  While I can make that statement, I become aggravated with my husband should he state something similar. I don’t need him to point out my failings, I excel at paying attention to my flaws. Anyway, my mood has been pretty “sucky” as they say, despite the joy of having my son home. But, he and my daughter do bring such lightness into my being. 

Today was father’s day. A few of my family came for the afternoon. My dad, who celebrated his 88th birthday this past week and my mom were here. The day was pleasant but I was eager for everyone to leave so that my son, my daughter, and her friend who is staying with us for a couple of weeks could go to the movies. We decided to see Year One. My husband didn’t want to go, he is not a big fan of Jack Black’s, and these days not a big fan of mine…

I find books and movies to be a great release for me. I laughed so hard throughout the movie. My daughter was laughing at me as I was gasping for breath. I seriously related to the absurdity of many of the moments in the film. I am reminded of the time when I saw The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy and there were literally two people screaming with laughter in the theatre– me and the man behind me.  I do so enjoy a good laugh. I have always been that way. When I was acting, my friends and I were always fooling around and laughing. It just feels sooooo good after a big long laugh.

I needed that laugh and the universe answered.  My children are always willing to laugh along with me and so we do imitations and weird voices and faces and then laugh. Because of his musical ability, my son does great voices and dialects.  He allows me to express a part of myself that has gotten lost –for that I am grateful. 

Perhaps I need to rent all those crazy movies that have made me laugh hard and long. I know I need a bit of healing these days.

Working Out

I started with my personal trainer today. This is not the first time I have worked with a trainer. I do hope that it is better. We are working differently than the last time I did this. We are not using machines and are working with my core strength — or should I say the lack of core strength.

Part of my problem relates to the body memory which is strong with in me. I move into a posture and can easily recall how once I did the move with ease. I don’t think there was one exercise I did today that came with ease or grace for that matter. Oh well. At least I am back on track.  

I do need to occupy my mind with a different type of work out. Negative thinking, beating myself up and all that powerfully negative stuff I have down pat. Now, with this yet again, new beginning I have to remain positive, optimistic and trust. The universe actually has been kind to me. I must remember to smile and work out those face muscles. Smile and the psychy receives a boost. 

My good friend read my first few chapters and gave me some wonderful feed back. So now I continue to push forward and one day, maybe soon, I will actually have a novel on my hands.  The key, keep writing, writing, writing.