Life seems regularly filled with transitions. There are work transitions, living transitions, relationship transitions, emotional transitions, physical transitions and sometimes a whole lot of transitions at one time.
I am in the midst of one of those whole lot transitions at one time. I know that I will cope and adjust but sometimes, or more than sometimes, I greet these transitions with a bit of chaotic behavior. I feel as if I have a million things to do but don’t know where to begin. Indeed, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed that I can do nothing. Other times, perhaps because I am forced to by outside circumstance, I plunge ahead and get things done. But despite the reality that I am dealing, I feel surrounded by chaos.
I have long noticed when I move into chaotic behavior the one of the actions I should take to calm down I don’t. Instead, I engage in mental gymnastics and sleep deprivation out of anxiety. Writing is one action that brings me satisfaction; I haven’t written in about 6 weeks. This starting and stopping is problematic for me because it doesn’t help my mental state. It really makes it worse.
I meet my transitions kicking and screaming–LOL. But yet I intellectually understand and believe that if I go with the flow, as it were, I would handle my life better. The irony is that I know what to do to stay calm and focused but do not do that which would be of great benefit to me. That is another transition that I need to implement ASAP.