Knowing what to say and when to say it

Ok! My daughter is 20. I long to share my experience, strength and hope with her. I would willingly help her with anything. My problem, accepting that she doesn’t want my help. It upsets me, it hurts me, it frustrates me. And, I am continually being provided with lessons to stay out of her business. My perspective could be helpful. But, it is not what she wants. 

I anger her. She feels diminished by things I say. I don’t know how to tell her anymore directly than I have that I see a talented, creative, bright, beautiful (and she is beautiful) young woman. I even attempt to send her affirmations hoping that she will take my advice and read them, say them to herself, etc….

She continually misunderstands what I want to communicate. I know some of this is a function of that mother/daughter thing everyone talks about. Some of it reflects real issues that separate us. My heart is with her and my other child who happens to be a son. I can’t force anyone to take my advice. In truth, my parents struggled with me. I didn’t see it their way. It being almost anything. I don’t know that I still see things their way. Unlike many individuals who get chronologically older, I have not grown more conservative. LOL! I am not anything like a conservative. 

I am told over and over by friends, let her come to you. So difficult. But in truth, I dislike it immensely when someone tries to tell me what to do and I haven’t asked for it or found myself in a jam. It has taken me many years to get to the level of self reflection I can do. Why should I expect more from my daughter. So, as I write this, my daughter is angry with me. I have called her several times over the last few days. I have texted — all to no avail. Another lesson!

 

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The sight of serenity

I return to this blog after a long hiatus. Why so long? I get involved with things in my life and don’t see the value in visiting my blog. I haven’t worked the blog as it should be worked. I haven’t connected with other bloggers. Why? Just part of my journey. I find myself, as my last blog stated, in transition once again. This transition, while not of my choosing, is better for my psyche. I was working in an environment that was toxic. No longer.

But, today I am faced with starting over again. Something I have done a good deal. Perhaps I need to accept more of my choice to live as a freelancer than I have. I like some structure and routine, but I like to be able to change within the structure and alter the routine.

The photo of the serene lake on the home page of my blog gave me a moment of wishfulness. I love to travel and be in nature. I get stimulated by nature and travel. That does give me a sense of peace.

I have neglected this blog and my own writings, and now in this transition I will seek serenity in working on my writing.