Cherishing the Moments I Work with Women

I facilitated an expressive writing class today.  There were to be ten people attending. Only a few women showed up. It didn’t matter. I love working with women as there is much in their experience that is difficult, if not impossible to get into when men are in the group.

I understand that men have their traumas and their pain, and indeed, we are all human and can share the pain. However, for women struggling to make sense of their pain, shame, and guilt, having a single sex group is helpful.

I enjoy engaging with women. The irony of that statement is grounded in my youthful dislike of women. I didn’t know then what I understand now. That is not to say that I have patience for those females who are superficial, mean-spirited, or airheads. Listen, I never said I wasn’t judgmental.

We learn from the stories other women share with us. Years ago, I wrote a non-fiction book on women and creativity. The stories that were offered to me during those interviews were precious. For the most part, after speaking for a short time, the raw stories of these women tumbled out. I was honored that they shared so openly with me.

I have taught many workshops, most of them to women and every time, the sharing has had a profound impact upon me and others. I cherish those women, their honesty, their courage and their willingness to share.


Time Passages

This month is particularly unusual. I have a son graduating college and a daughter graduating high school. I  clearly remember sitting in Washington Square Park in New York, with my son only a couple of months old, looking at all the college guys passing by. I would fantasize about what my son would look  like when he was on his way to a college class.

I also envisioned what my daughter would look like in high school. In part my visions were correct but who my children have become and who they are yet to become in full adulthood still remains a mystery. The journey has been long, the journey has been short. Fast, slow, uphill, downhill. The road of the journey bumpy and smooth. Just like the road of my own journey and the journey I continue to travel.

My children are different from each other, so very different. Each one a unique combination of him and her self and of us their parents. Their potential is still unfolding with much strength yet to be developed and manifested. They are interesting individuals my children. 

Sometimes, I have stopped and asked myself “how did I get here”  surprised that I am where my feet have landed. But in truth, it doesn’t matter. Time keeps moving me forward. Sometimes I travel the road with grace and calm while other times I stomp my feet and step backward. Usually my backward steps are unintentional. But, once I regain my balance I move quickly forward. 

My son told me last month, “Mom, you were a good mom. You did a good job raising us”. I appreciate his statement. I know I wasn’t a perfect mom. I would try to be present and supportive though I know I didn’t always do it in the best way. I am emotional. Most of the time my children would laugh about it. I tried to bring laughter to our lives, sometimes I succeeded better than others. I tried to be sensitive and compassionate with both them and their friends. My son and his friends were far more open to me than my daughter and her friends. I am the type of person who is direct. It can make some uncomforable.

It seems that now my mom job takes on a different form. I look forward to sharing my children’s lives with them in the future and hope that I can still do a good job — even if the job description  changes a bit. My children have kept me going at difficult times and continue to inspire me. I want to be just like them when I grow up.


Multi-level marketing

I just left the house of a friend, a new friend, of mine. We were working on the home page of her business website. The focus of the business has changed from a networking center to a networking center/ home based business resource.

We spent a couple of hours going over the draft I had written for her. During our conversation, which included, children, marriage- all the typical topics women speak about with each other, we landed on the topic of the website.

My friend is involved in a few home-based business ventures –all are multi-level. I simply do not get how it works. For the purpose of the website, it doesn’t matter. But, for me, I do not understand how everyone becomes a distributor. If everyone is a distributor who then are the clients. I know that women are making good money handling these products despite lack of understanding.

I have been to presentations about a variety of home based businesses. It just isn’t the way my brain works. So I guess, I will keep writing for my friend and trust that one day I will have that aha! experience. In the meantime, if you are a woman looking for a home-based business go to Mommy and check out the networking possibilities.

Bombarded by thoughts about women

I thought early today that I needed to write about what is posted a many blog sites. I have been bothered over the last few days by the types of posting about women. Even those posts which are suppose to be helpful, appear to me to be superficial.

I am new to blogging, as my many post have already indicated, but I have found the focus on women sadly lacking. I have determined that the categories I created many weeks ago are important.

To begin, I created a new zine or attempted to at any rate. The focus of that blog is to be women and business. I worked on an article about writing a business plan. Posted it, more than once as I kept loosing it and then decided to make it part of this new zine. I tried my best to create a cover for the zine.

I didn’t want to use the photos I had on my collection and went looking through those that were immediately available through the blog site. I was more than disappointed. Photo after photo of women were about young scantily dressed women, exposed body parts, suggestive postures, women kissing women etc. I really don’t care that these are there, however, there was a lack of photos of business women, women who are strong, multi-generational gatherings of women, etc. There is more to a woman life than her ability to be sexually attractive and that is not always demonstrated in the “traditional” way.

I have not given up my determination to create a wonderful cover for the Women and Business zine. I will find a photo appropriate but find the lack of substance around me disheartening. So much for all the progress made since the 60’s.