There are days when I wish to fly away. That of course would entail my going on a plane. But, there are times that I wish I could sore like a bird. Free of constraints. The irony of these musings is that the constraints I feel are self-imposed. I create my prison and I alone can plot my escape.
The tools I have for escaping myself when I succumb to my negative side, my dark side, my “she who shall not be named” side, are varied. I do engage in a form of spiritual practice. I can hide myself away within a good novel, and on days when I am feeling brave continue writing my own novel. I can go out side and watch the birds that symbolize much to me. I have never seen a heron stomp his or her webbed feet on the ground over missing a fish. Nor, have I witnessed any hysterics from the other birds that fish in the waterways here in Florida. There is a lesson in their behavior, one that is grounded in staying in the moment. Frustration does add anything to problem solving, but it does waste valuable energy. The tools, yes…I use exercise to exorcise my demons and I use laughter to lighten my spirit.
I actually love to laugh. It feels great and it is soooo healthy for you. Did you know that it reduces that wrinkles, especially those frowning wrinkles. So, here I am in need of a good laugh, a strong workout, and a trip to watch some birds calmly cope with their reality. It is all about perception then isn’t it?
It doesn’t matter how I feel from day to day. There are events that occur that are greater than me and I must stop and take note. No matter what. That was the lesson I had this past weekend.
My family and I traveled north to New York to celebrate the bar mitzvah on my cousin’s youngest son. It was fun to be with my cousin and his kids. I like them. The joy of the event, for that moment in time, overshadowed the cancer that looms large in this boy’s life.
I do not know what I would do if one of my children had been diagnosed when they were six with a rare form of bone cancer. I do not know how I would continue to find the strength to help my child through 19 surgeries and 50 rounds of chemotherapy.
But, what I saw this weekend, what I have seen over the years as this child and his family fight to have a normal life was just that– life. This boy shines with spirit and energy and enthusiasm. He is a wonder. He is bright, bold, energetic, funny and enterprising. He took great pride in the fact that his team for Relay for Life raised the most money of any team in the area ever. We all got Live Strong bracelets at the party.
I am reminded at times like these that my problems are truly not that precious, not even to me. That I have much to be grateful for in my life and the lives of my family. And, I am priviledged to have such a warrior in my circle. I want the glint of mischief that is in his eyes, the lust for life that he maintains, and the joy with which he experiences the moments of his life.